Sunday, May 05, 2002
I am trying so hard not to get carried away. I don't care what he does, I don't care what his secret is, I just want to be around him. Literally.
I'm in the glow like never before. The days are just about B—. It's all I can do to write a few words. Other things have happened over the last couple of days (Fred's accident, a woman in Italy is pregnant with a clone) but I've been listening to the same song over and over. I'm Falling in Love with B— is set on 'repeat' on my mental walkman. It's way too corny to say that he's sensitive, but he just is. He just seems aware of what's going on, somehow, and I can't quite put my finger on why. And he holds me in the night. I love it. He holds me like I'm his anchor. He was drifting and now he's found me and I'm his anchor. That makes me feel…I don't know. I realise as I'm writing this that I actually don't know — I've honestly never had this feeling before. Is this what a diary is for? So that twenty years from now when I'm cold inside I'll read this and feel warmed by the spark of a feeling that comes through in these words?
Anyway, I'm his anchor. Come to think of it, maybe he's my ship. Who knows where I'll go with him? I love this feeling.
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posted by Sara